Thank a Smoker Day!
Smokers always get shat upon. They have to stand in the freezing cold outside of their workplaces- sometimes up to 20 feet away from buildings. They get sneered at and jeered at and treated like second-class citizens everywhere they go (except maybe in Hollywood or Tokyo).
Well, it's time to change all that- at least for one day a year.
I propose that Sunday, May 23, be designated as Thank a Smoker Day. But, I will need your help and input. In the comment section below, please list one positive thing about smokers. (We'll get you started, and then please see if you can come up with more good reasons why, on this one day a year, we should suck it up and thank a smoker):
1. The money they pay in taxes helps build our schools and highways.
2. They die sooner- thus helping to contain world overpopulation, famine and available living space.
3. They give that “raspy voice” effect to some or our best jazz and blues singers.
4. Millions of dollars into the economy on Nicorettes, motivational tapes, patches and hypnotists.
5. Their discarded butts have enabled scientists to create a chemical that helps protect steel.
6. Without "never say quit" smokers, there'd be no sensational fireballs caused by aging wheezers who forget that open flames and flowing oxygen should never meet. NOTE: My editor/producer, Mr. Duane Ingalls Glasscock, will be deleting comments that he feels are either lame, not entertaining, overly serious or not on subject. I will add the best ones to this list
Well, it's time to change all that- at least for one day a year.
I propose that Sunday, May 23, be designated as Thank a Smoker Day. But, I will need your help and input. In the comment section below, please list one positive thing about smokers. (We'll get you started, and then please see if you can come up with more good reasons why, on this one day a year, we should suck it up and thank a smoker):
1. The money they pay in taxes helps build our schools and highways.2. They die sooner- thus helping to contain world overpopulation, famine and available living space.
3. They give that “raspy voice” effect to some or our best jazz and blues singers.
4. Millions of dollars into the economy on Nicorettes, motivational tapes, patches and hypnotists.
5. Their discarded butts have enabled scientists to create a chemical that helps protect steel.
6. Without "never say quit" smokers, there'd be no sensational fireballs caused by aging wheezers who forget that open flames and flowing oxygen should never meet. NOTE: My editor/producer, Mr. Duane Ingalls Glasscock, will be deleting comments that he feels are either lame, not entertaining, overly serious or not on subject. I will add the best ones to this list
Comments
5. Always a funny site at an airport, sitting in their little glassed in room.
Posted by: chrisj | May 17, 2010 1:06 AM
Damn - I just quit. So much fro being recognized.
The employ thousands in the fields, the factories and the courtrooms.
Posted by: Rich | May 17, 2010 2:55 AM
It makes my nasal cannula such an important fashion accesory.
Posted by: Faith | May 17, 2010 5:23 AM
Their discarded butts have enabled scientist to create a chemical that helps protect steel.
http://tinyurl.com/2der2j3
and besides, their yellow teeth make mine look whiter in comparison.
Posted by: .Dick | May 17, 2010 7:30 AM
This is partly covered by #2, "die sooner" but adds a further reason for praise. From Wikipedia, "heavy smokers generally don't live long enough to develop the costly and chronic illnesses which affect the elderly, reducing society's healthcare burden." Philip Morris paid for a study in the Czech Republic, then sternly apologized for publishing it: "The funding and public release of this study which, among other things, detailed purported cost savings to the Czech Republic due to premature deaths of smokers, exhibited terrible judgment as well as a complete and unacceptable disregard of basic human values. For one of our tobacco companies to commission this study was not just a terrible mistake, it was wrong. All of us at Philip Morris, no matter where we work, are extremely sorry for this. No one benefits from the very real, serious and significant diseases caused by smoking."
Thus, another plus: smoking keeps tobacco lawyers sharp at writing brilliant, sincere, believable denials which benefit the entire plausible deniability industry.
Posted by: Steve S | May 17, 2010 4:34 PM
Duane's your producer?
Posted by: TCouch | May 18, 2010 9:45 AM
Regarding Comment #1, it's sight, not site.
Even though I'm not a smoker, here are my suggestions for why smokers are cool:
Girls who smoke almost always look like the are easy to bed. ( Not always true, but the perception is there)
Bars and clubs look a little more appealing and dangerous when there is a haze of smoke in the air.
Dammit, some times I really like the smell of tobacco burning!!!
Posted by: Rick | May 18, 2010 11:45 AM
Without "never say quit" smokers, there'd be no sensational fireballs caused by aging wheezers who forget that open flames and flowing oxygen should never meet.
Posted by: Barry Crimmins | May 24, 2010 3:01 AM
We would never have had the experience of sitting in a dark art theatre and watching a great film noir without black and white film and the cigarette.
Posted by: h | May 24, 2010 3:02 AM
Great memory shots of when smoking was coooool.
http://tinyurl.com/37nwuct
and then there's this:
http://www.jameslomax.com/images/1054.jpg
Posted by: h | May 24, 2010 3:12 AM
And they keep doctors employed in the medical field. Plus all the support staff that have to do medical reports as well as respiratory therapists who have to provide care. And Pharmacists who have to get the medication all made. I could go on and on. Cashiers to ring in the prescription, yada, yada, yada.
Posted by: Heiid | May 29, 2010 6:28 PM