Big Mattress Song of the Week
The Wind: Circus Maximus
Ultimate extreme mellowness from the golden days of Underground Radio.
(Check it out by pressing the red button in the upper right hand corner of the main page).
« October 2008 | Main | December 2008 »
November 30, 2008
Holiday Hoax of the Year
Send a thank you card to a recovering American soldier.
Inspirational Sunday
Seize the time.
November 28, 2008
'SUUUuuuuuuup?
One more once from the Urban Dictionary
November 28: black friday
The day after Thanksgiving, when stores decide to open at the asscrack of dawn to start Christmas sales. Most people fall for this ploy and wake up at 4am to fight other mothers for cheap presents.
Guy1: Hey, are you going to do black friday?
Guy2: F__k no, man, do I want to get trampled by a crowd of people trying to buy a cheap Xbox?
It's the Karma, stupid!
It's not really the Dalai Lama (and you don't have to send it on), but it is nonetheless
Great Kumbaya for the Holidays
November 27, 2008
Parallax Definition
Vegetarian: A bad hunter. Someone who survives by consuming not food, but the stuff that food eats.
“The vegetarian was forced to subsist on slower prey, such as the broccoli and carrot.”
More from the Urban Dictionary
November 26, 2008
One last time (unedited) for any Rip Vans out there
November 25, 2008
Estrogen Wednesday
As so many of you are currently reminding me, the following is a hoax e-mail currently being circulated on the Internet.
Since I am such a klutz at figuring out what material works and what doesn't on Estrogen Wednesday, I am issuing a call for help from female readers.
(From this point on, Choolie will be in charge of putting up Estrogen Wednesday posts on this here blog here. Hear hear!!)
In a zoo in California, a mother tiger gave birth to a
rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the
pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their
tiny size, they died shortly after birth.
The mother tiger, after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health, although physically she was fine. The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter
had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the
tigress could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.
After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that
there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment.
Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species. The only
'orphans' that could be found quickly were a litter of weanling pigs. The zoo keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops??
Take a look...
Big Mattress Song of the Week
All I could find was the bleeped version, but it's still a great song by a great New England band.
and it fits this week! The Fools- Psycho Chicken. ( click on red dot- upper right- main page)
Here is the live unedited version: Not family or work friendly!
Testosterone Tuesday
For liberals only!!
That said- Would you sell your soul to sleep with the Devil?November 23, 2008
Geezer Monday
CHARLES LAQUIDARA GETS A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE!
Loren & Wally Wake Him Up – Big Mattress-Style
Boston, MA (November 24, 2008): 105.7 WROR celebrated the birthday of long-time Boston radio personality, Charles Laquidara, with a taste of his own medicine!
Charles Laquidara’s son, Ari-Jon, and WROR’s Loren and Wally did a Big Mattress-style “wake-up” call to Charles at 4am Maui time. The fictitious plot: Ari told his Dad that he had been taken into custody for DUI and the arresting officer (played by WROR’s Tom Doyle) wasn’t a fan of Charles’ liberal politics.
The practical joke worked for a short time before Charles knew he was being hosed. He then joked that he was paying for Ari’s college and the cops should keep him in custody to save Charles some money.
Since WROR is playing all Christmas songs, Loren and Wally sent out Bing Crosby’s “Mele Kalikimaka” to him as a birthday present.
Click here to hear.
If you are a Netflix subscriber and if you have a Mac
You have probably been frustrated by the fact that only people with PC's have the capability to watch Netflix movies instantly.
If your Mac is fairly new, here's how you can do it. (You can thank me later!):
Copy/paste this URL into your browser search: http://www.netflix.com/silverlightoptin
Follow the instructions, and then enjoy the movies (just like them PC nerds)- Let me know how it works for you.
“Hell Freezing over” Weekend
Nov 23, 2008 07:36 EST
Vatican media are praising the Beatles' musical legacy and sounding philosophical about John Lennon's boast that the British band was more popular than Jesus.
Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano recalls that Lennon's comment outraged many when he made it in 1966.
But it says in its Saturday edition that the remark can be written off now as the bragging of a young man wrestling with unexpected success.
The newspaper as well as Vatican Radio last week noted the 40th anniversary of the Beatles' "White Album."
It said the album demonstrated how creative the Beatles were, compared with what it called the "standardized, stereotypical" songs being produced today.
Source: AP News
Won't You Please Help in this Holiday Season?
November 22, 2008
Inspirational Sunday
Bigger can be better!
At least Neil Young thinks so...
Shop here for all your holiday needs.
It's the Oak Hills General Store
3 Ossipee Trl W
Standish, ME 04084-6142
Manager is Steve Collins
207-642-3600
Oh, wait-
Revisited: Gift Certificates from Hell
News station and snopes debunk this Internet e-mail as loaded with misinformation.
If you tend to give gift cards around the holidays, you need to be careful that the cards will be honored after the holidays. If you receive gift cards (and you probably will), try to use them immediately!
Stores that are planning to close after Christmas are still selling the cards through the holidays even though the cards will be worthless January 1.
There is no law preventing companies from doing this. On the contrary, it is referred to as 'Bankruptcy Planning).
Below is a partial list of stores that you need to be cautious about. This list is changing all the time (See comments) but bottom line is that gift certificates may not be best way to give or receive this year.
Circuit City (filed Chapter 11)
Macys to close 9 stores after January
Ann Taylor- 117 stores nationwide closing
Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug ,and Catherine's to close 150 stores nationwide
Eddie Bauer to close stores 27 stores and more after January
Cache will close all stores
Talbots closing down specialty stores
J. Jill
Pacific Sunwear
GAP closing 85 stores
Footlocker closing 140 stores mo re to close after January
Wickes Furniture closing down
Levitz closing down remaining stores
Bombay closing remaining stores
Zales closing down 82 stores and 105 after January
Whitehall closing all stores
Piercing Pagoda closing all stores
Disney closing 98 stores and will close more after January.
Linens and Things closing all stores
Movie Galley closing all stores
Pep Boys Closing 33 stores
Sprint/Nextel closing 133 stores
JC Penney closing a number of stores after January
Ethan Allen closing down 12 stores.
Wilson Leather closing down all stores
Sharper Image closing down all stores
K B Toys closing 356 stores
Loews to close down some stores
Dillard's to close some stores
November 21, 2008
100% Cure for Cancer
A blog reader just sent me this... and it sounds too good to be true- so I Google it and I research and I snopes it and I try to debunk it every which way that I know of.. and I keep coming up with the same answer: Is this the real deal?
If so- Why can't we get it? Work with me here, people.
Weekend fun for music nerds
Pandora.com:The Music Genome Project
"On January 6, 2000 a group of musicians and music-loving technologists came together with the idea of creating the most comprehensive analysis of music ever.
Together we set out to capture the essence of music at the most fundamental level. We ended up assembling literally hundreds of musical attributes or "genes" into a very large Music Genome. Taken together these genes capture the unique and magical musical identity of a song - everything from melody, harmony and rhythm, to instrumentation, orchestration, arrangement, lyrics, and of course the rich world of singing and vocal harmony. It's not about what a band looks like, or what genre they supposedly belong to, or about who buys their records - it's about what each individual song sounds like.
Since we started back in 2000, we've carefully listened to the songs of tens of thousands of different artists - ranging from popular to obscure - and analyzed the musical qualities of each song one attribute at a time. This work continues each and every day as we endeavor to include all the great new stuff coming out of studios, clubs and garages around the world.
It has been quite an adventure, you could say a little crazy - but now that we've created this extraordinary collection of music analysis, we think we can help be your guide as you explore your favorite parts of the music universe.
We hope you enjoy the journey.
Tim Westergren
Founder"
George W: Please resign immediately
I know this is going to sound partial and subjective, but I swear on everything I hold sacred in my life that I would be saying the same thing if John McCain were the President-Elect:
George W. Bush must step down immediately. The idea of holding our collective breaths and watching America and the World Economy go down in flames is absolutely insane at this crucial period in our history. If Barack Obama is ready to put everything into place right now, then our current President (if he truly wants to do the right thing for the good of the Country and for the People), should resign immediately- and he should ask Congress to take the unprecedented step of authorizing an immediate Obama inauguration.
Call me crazy, but anything is better than what is happening every day now- to America and to the rest of the free world; and time is not a commodity we have to play with.
If you agree that this is the direction we have to go in, please say so on your blogs, in your e-mails, to your friends on the street and to your co-workers by the water-cooler (if you still have your jobs).
Pick up the torch and get a massive e-mail petition started, then please let me know how to forward it on. Our goal is to get 20 million signatures by December 1.
If any of you think we have “only” 60 days left- turn on your TV.
Let's find out how much of a patriot George W. Bush really is...
Freaky Friday Nov 21
Pretty incredible • This is the Olympics of driving skills.
Freaky Friday Redux
You know that horrified fascination you feel when you read about historical practices like human sacrifice, gladiators, stoning, hanging, guillotine-- and you try to put yourself back in history and imagine the culture, the mindset that would allow you to watch one of those events? After reading this article this morning, I wonder... You think Deathcasting will be our legacy of horrified fascination to future generations?
Freaky Friday Redux, Part Deux- yeah yeah, I know. "Gee Choolie, thanks for the Friday morning buzzkill." Perhaps that whole suicide-by-webcam posting was a little TMI (whipper-snapper speak for Too Much Info) for a Friday morning. Forgive me. To make up for it, here's some doggone HIGH-LARIOUS media bias by MSNBC. The backstory: Sarah Palin just pardoned a turkey for the upcoming holiday, and then gave a press conference outside, seemingly unaware of the completely Fargo-esque backdrop: a smiling, mustachioed man slaughtering fowl with a "Yeah, sure, you betcha" expression. Watch the MSNBC banners beneath the grinning guv. Comedy Gold. (Maybe THIS will be our legacy of horrified fascination for future generations...)
(Charles note: I wanted to post the actual “unedited video” but since this is Choolie's turf, I capitulated (no pun intended.) When you have the “stomach” for it, here's the real deal.)
PS Humunuh humunuh:
November 20, 2008
What happened to the cute, furry puppies?
I think the Shiba Inu owners have a great sense of humor..
Friday Fattie Flashback
Boston underground radio commercials: Boston 1970
11th Hour Massacre: (60 long days and counting...)
You knew that W and Co. wouldn't go gently into that good night, didn't you?
November 19, 2008
Taking It Back- my blog • my radio show • my diary • my forum
“But, what about Freedom of Speech?
Doesn't the First Amendment give me the right to talk about whatever I want here?”
No. The blog is owned by Charles. The servers are his. He pays the bandwidth charges. He makes the rules; we are here as his guests. If he decides tomorrow that anyone not posting in iambic pentameter will be banned, your options are either to brush up on your poetry skills or find/start another forum.
To all readers:
When I did a radio show back in the day, I only took calls when I
wanted to take calls- I had total control of what went over the air and what
didn't go over the air; when I was in the mood to play nothing but music,
that's what I did, and the show did fairly well. I kicked ass, made a lot of
money for the station and a lot for everyone who worked there. It was my
show- I got credit for the great segues and content and I also got the blame
for the bad segues and for anything else I screwed up. It was chaos- but controlled chaos-
and it was pretty successful radio, I think most would agree.
I have been retired for eight years now. I spend about an hour a day-
sometimes longer- putting together this blog. It's kind of like my radio show,
except with a lot more than just songs.
One of the things that I have strived to do from the beginning was to
keep the blog open and flexible, and to allow all viewpoints to be heard.
But I soon realized that the comments each day were being posted by the
same twelve or thirteen people- kind of like an AOL Chat Room. I didn't like
it from the beginning, and I tried to get others to comment- but, either
they were intimidated by the "regulars," or they just liked to read, keep a
low profile and chose not to ever post a comment- And so, even though I tried to be more inclusive, nothing changed.
We know from the technology and the number of different "hits" that
there are hundreds of different people who subscribe or log on and read this blog each day, but- only the same twelve or thirteen people post comments- the majority of them negative, counterproductive, confrontational and argumentative. Instead of an entertaining discourse,
it turns into a harsh rehashing of their own philosophies or a bitter lashing out at people and issues they don't agree with- many of them cross the line into cursing and name-calling.
If these comments were opposing views with thoughtful information and if there was a back and forth dialogue with interesting points being put forth, I would have less of a problem- I love a good back and forth discourse; that's what my radio shows were often
about. But, I would say that the comments on this blog are often closer to a constant
Bill O'Reilly/Barney Frank rant than to an entertaining discussion on issues-
comparable to the ludicrous and hate-inspired comments we all read on YouTube sites.
That said, I have decided to take back my blog (radio show) in a very
decisive way: I will be posting music, articles, anecdotes, videos and my
own thoughts each day, as usual- but very soon I will be "opening the mikes" for
comments only when it feels right or when I'm in the mood for a bit of good
discussion. In the future there will sometimes be posts that do not allow for comments and other times there will be posts that welcome comments and say so specifically. In other words, I will be controlling the comments, just as I controlled who talked on the radio- and when they talked- opening the phones only when I want to get a different energy going-
allowing comments only when it feels right to do so: Comments that allow the
naysayers to naysay and the ayers to aye- but only posting comments which I
feel are "good radio" (or rather), entertaining reading. I will base my
decision- not as to whether I agree with the comments or not- but on how it feels
to have them up there. it will be my decision - to sail or to sink with:
I hope you all trust me- I think most of you will soon find that the blog will
have a different energy and a better feel to it, from this day forward.
Aloha- and let's rock!
-c
Thespian Thursday
For those who can't stay up late: Grab a beer and see what you missed.
One Down two to go.
Alaska down. Let's see if we can win this one and then hope for the best in Minnesota.
November 18, 2008
President-Elect Mistake #1 (and counting...)
Please don't do this to us, Barrack!
Holder, you may recall, was the acting attorney general who approved Bill Clinton's last-minute list of presidential pardons just before leaving office.
That list included one very controversial and embarrassing one for fugitive investor Marc Rich, whose ex-wife coincidentally just happened to have made substantial contributions to Clinton.
Testosterone Tuesday
(Sorry- no T's available at this time for MIRF)
Go grab a virtual camera and let's rewind to the night of November 2, 2008
You get to be the First-Family-Elect's personal photographer!
Seeking the Like-Minded. (We all do it- and it kind of sucks)
The confirmation bias sways us all, especially when it reinforces our inner tribalism. Most of us will never join a cult, but all of us are subject to the pull of believing evidence that supports our most cherished beliefs.
Estrogen Wednesday
Touché Edition
November 17, 2008
Big Mattress Song of the Week 10-18-08
This is actually a segue of two of the most powerful classical pieces ever written. The first part is the Dies Irae from Guisseppe Verdi's Requiem. The second is O Fortuna from Carl Orff's Carmina Burana- Its use in countless Hollywood movies, trailers and commercials has rendered it one of the most widely heard and recognized classical music themes of our time.*
Put on the headsets, click on the red button (upper right corner of main page) and blast away- keeping in mind that the sound would be bigger and better from the original CD,
or if you were in the audience at a live performance.
*Some of the films using O Fortuna include, Excalibur, the Doors, Warlock, and in many movie trailers, including Glory- Fans seeing Superbowl XXXVI first heard it as the New England Patriots entrance-on-field theme and it is now used in all Patriots games and in various other NFL trailers and promos.
Can you name other films, commercials, or venues that used either of these two pieces?
Geezer Monday
Joe Pesci tells it like it is.
Temporary post
I was going to pick one from about 20 political cartoons that I thought were funny this week- but then I saw this one. (It looks like it may be one of them New Yorker cartoons that I have always had a hard time with). I decided to post it and keep it up here until someone explains the joke to me. I am truly flummoxed! (P.S. There is no dialogue or caption. Is it possibly a mistake from Time Mag itself?)
CASE SOLVED! (see comments)
Peter Shiff for Secretary of Treasury
Keith speaking quietly and not throwing anything. (Pretty moving, actually...)
November 16, 2008
On the Origin of Man
Uuuuuh. On second thought, can I change my vote from "Evolution" to "Creation?"
Thanks, Danny!
November 15, 2008
Inspirational Sunday
(... But to support a president who favors capital punishment is okay, and sending thousands off to kill and die for oil is a horse of a different color.)
..and the Catholic Church is not the only political forum that should be paying taxes!
November 14, 2008
Freaky Friday (updated November 15,2008)
It was on this day in 1860 that Abraham Lincoln was elected to his first term as president of the United States. Lincoln's only experience in national politics had been a single term as a congressional representative and two unsuccessful runs for senator. He had only one year of formal schooling and no administrative experience. Newspapers called him a "third-rate Western lawyer."
Once he got the nomination, Lincoln lay low until the election. He only attended one campaign rally, in Springfield, and he didn't even make a speech.
The Southern states took his election as a sign that slavery would be abolished, and before he even had a chance to take the oath of office, South Carolina, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, and Texas all seceded from the Union.
Abraham Lincoln would spend all but the last few weeks of his life fighting to hold the country together.
Hell Froze Over Weekend
“Do you want fries with that?”
Freaky Friday (Please beware- This is a little disturbing.)
Time to revisit Bowling for Columbine.
iPhone Owners will LOVE this App. (You all owe me!)
Wolfgang's Vault for your iPhone (woo woo!!)
yikes
November 13, 2008
Lesson to be Learned
“Governor Palin thought Africa was a country- not a continent..”
McCain Policy Adviser “Martin Eisenstadt ”
In the golden days of media, before Republican deregulation and corporate monopoly buy-outs, the focus was on real news.
Today it's on ratings and bottom line sales. This is the price we pay.
November 12, 2008
The Last Experience
“Castles made of sand fall in the sea, eventually...”
Choolie's Prediction 2009
Notes from Charles:
“All right- I have been silent long enough! I need to speak out and I need you fellow readers to come through for me here, because my reputation is at stake. We all know that Choolie is real cool and that she's smart and wise beyond her years. But, just because she's a girl, does not mean she should get special treatment. I mean, like, it's the whole Sarah Palin thing going on here... Just because this loser quasi-comedian is African-American does not mean you have to say that you like his God-awful attempt at doing an impression of Barrack Obama. The question here is not, “Do you folks think that he is better than the dude that does it on SNL?”- The question here is, do you think that this man does a good impression of President-elect Barack Obama?
Now, will you all please sit down and play this video again, and vote with your brain- not your bleeding hearts? Fact of the matter is, there's a lot at steak (I mean lobster) here in this bet. Come on now, watch this Choolie “prediction” thing and vote. Please!”
Predicts: This guy's going to get a lot of work.
Here is Iman doing Obama backstage preparing for the second (town hall) debate:
Help us with a wager by answering this one-question survey about the above video:
Click Here to take survey
Iman's (aka Alphacat's) Youtube channel: here.
November 11, 2008
Estrogen Wednesday (Geezer Monday runner-up)
Name the Cabinet
Who do you feel should or will be the appointees of Obama's administration?
Here are my picks:
Secretary of Health and Human Services- Howard Dean
Secretary of Defense: Gates/Powell
Secretary of Treasury: Lawrence Summers
Secretary of Interior: Al Gore
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: John McCain
Secretary of Energy: Bill Richardson
Secretary of State: Bill Clinton
Attorney General: Janet Napolitano
Secretary of Labor: Jennifer Granholm
Ambassador to United Nations: Caroline Kennedy
Let's read yours.
November 10, 2008
Big Mattress Song of the Week
Miriam Makeba: The Click Song
(Yes- that's her tongue making the clicking sound!)
Geezer Monday
Rustproof cars are so cool.
You never have to paint them.
November 9, 2008
Inspirational Sunday
What you probably didn't know about Barrack Obama!
-On a lighter note, this from the Onion.
Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To See How Empty Lives Are
The Day that Changed the World (revisited)
Hundreds of front pages from the historic day of November 5, 2008
Five reasons why the word historic is not hyperbole this time.
November 8, 2008
The real laughs on CNN don't come from D.L. Hughley..
Our own Choolie was all over this first!
and now, here's the sequel.(confirmation from the pundits).
We've Been Hosed!!
Whiter than white (knuckles)
Now that we've all bought into this, here's the latest update from snopes!
November 7, 2008
Yikes
Good job, so far, U.S.S.S.!
November 6, 2008
Let's start “reaching across the aisle”..
..after we dump this guy.
Half of what I say is meaningless-(john lennon) But the other half wants to know..
Someone in the Bush administration illegally leaked the immigration status of Obama’s Kenyan aunt.
Who could that be?
I wonder.... I wonder.....
“Yes I can! ” No, you can't!
Now it can be told
The election's over, the knives are out... Et tu, Carl Cameron?
From Newsweek's "Hackers and Spending Sprees" aka "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast:"
NEWSWEEK has also learned that Palin's shopping spree at high-end department stores was more extensive than previously reported. While publicly supporting Palin, McCain's top advisers privately fumed at what they regarded as her outrageous profligacy. One senior aide said that Nicolle Wallace had told Palin to buy three suits for the convention and hire a stylist. But instead, the vice presidential nominee began buying for herself and her family—clothes and accessories from top stores such as Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus. According to two knowledgeable sources, a vast majority of the clothes were bought by a wealthy donor, who was shocked when he got the bill. Palin also used low-level staffers to buy some of the clothes on their credit cards. The McCain campaign found out last week when the aides sought reimbursement. One aide estimated that she spent "tens of thousands" more than the reported $150,000, and that $20,000 to $40,000 went to buy clothes for her husband. Some articles of clothing have apparently been lost. An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast," and said the truth will eventually come out when the Republican Party audits its books.A Palin aide said: "Governor Palin was not directing staffers to put anything on their personal credit cards, and anything that staffers put on their credit cards has been reimbursed, like an expense. Nasty and false accusations following a defeat say more about the person who made them than they do about Governor Palin."
McCain himself rarely spoke to Palin during the campaign, and aides kept him in the dark about the details of her spending on clothes because they were sure he would be offended. Palin asked to speak along with McCain at his Arizona concession speech Tuesday night, but campaign strategist Steve Schmidt vetoed the request.
November 5, 2008
Cheerleaders Gone Wild
As all teens seem inclined to do, Ms. Davis published some photos on her Facebook page. Oops!
I have just seen Obama's Victory Speech.
He doesn't need me to speak for him- he does just fine.
No more Obama gloating or hype. He doesn't need me to do that either.
I am going kayaking tomorrow; my last words on the subject are kind of a request/prayer:
To the Secret Service and to the Guardians of Safety, whoever you are-
Please keep this man alive and give him at least a chance to get the job done.
(..and it's been a long time since I've said this word:)
Amen.
Help us Obi-Wan Kenobi, You're Our Only Hope
Is it just me, or are all of the special effects at CNN getting just plain douchey?
PS Is it not hilarious that they made Jessica appear smaller than Wolf? The dude's a leprechaun, isn't he? This would've been much cooler if they made her appear as a 50-foot woman, poised to eat Blitzer. With sour cream and a little apple sauce, maybe.
November 4, 2008
One Day...
Need Quotes
1. “Hey, John-Boy- You live alone?”
2.“ I'm a self-made man. (Give or take a debate or two..)”
3. “You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?”
November 3, 2008
Big Mattress Song of the Week
Ballad of a Thin Man
“Something is happening here, but you don't know what it is, do you, Mr. Neocon?”
To hear song, click on red button top right corner of main blog page.
You walk into the room
With your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, who is that man?
You try so hard
But you dont understand
Just what youll say
When you get home
Because something is happening here
But you dont know what it is
Do you, mister jones?
You raise up your head
And you ask, is this where it is?
And somebody points to you and says
Its his
And you say, whats mine?
And somebody else says, where what is?
And you say, oh my god
Am I here all alone?
Because something is happening here
But you dont know what it is
Do you, mister jones?
You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, how does it feel
To be such a freak?
And you say, impossible
As he hands you a bone
Because something is happening here
But you dont know what it is
Do you, mister jones?
You have many contacts
Among the lumberjacks
To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations
Youve been with the professors
And theyve all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have
Discussed lepers and crooks
Youve been through all of
F. scott fitzgeralds books
Youre very well read
Its well known
Because something is happening here
But you dont know what it is
Do you, mister jones?
Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan
Because something is happening here
But you dont know what it is
Do you, mister jones?
Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word now
And you say, for what reason?
And he says, how?
And you say, what does this mean?
And he screams back, youre a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home
Because something is happening here
But you dont know what it is
Do you, mister jones?
Well, you walk into the room
Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin around
You should be made
To wear earphones
Because something is happening here
But you dont know what it is
Do you, mister jones?
Testosterone Tuesday
Not very Kool. Also, not very work or family friendly.
I Can See it Coming... I can hear it coming... I can feel it coming.. I am hoping.. • maybe • possibly perhaps • might be • you think?
Democracy is coming to America
(Thanks to Tom Couch for this.)
On another note:
Reading the predictable negative comments on this post, please allow me to wonder a few thoughts aloud- (in print):
1. If we are to believe the historical fact that every so often, a great leader comes along, rises above the rest, and leads a segment of the populace to think differently, act differently and feel differently; and instills in them an inspiration for future generations- is there any possibility that, however slim- if that person did come along during their lifetime- a large segment of the population would buy into the charisma and savor the privilege of being a part of that historical time?
2. If your answer is, “Yes, of course, there is always that possibility..” then the next obvious question would be, “But, is Barrack Obama that person?”
3. The answer will be a resounding “NO!!!” from at least half of the U.S. population. (Assuming that a majority of the people will have voted for Obama only as the better of two bad choices...)
4. So, there you have it. You can call us idealists, dreamers, fatheads, meatheads, assholes, naive losers, morons, liberal, pinko, faggot commies, dopes and suckers if it makes you feel better). But just know this: There are a lot more of us than there are of you right now; and we are made up of millions of talented, intelligent, creative, politically savvy, flexible, idealistic, poor-as-well-as-wealthy, up-righteous and morally fine human beings- so if we are being duped- the person duping us must be awfully damn good, because we are also made up of a lot of cynics, realists and hard-working folk who have seen this before and yet have decided to give it one more go- because this time, this one looks like it's for real.
5. My last question is to those who would scoff: If you were alive during the era of any of the past heroes in history , would you have been on board back then? Or would you be laughing at the morons who bought in?
If I start citing examples, it gets silly: Like, if Christ himself were running for office, would-
......Never mind.... Won't go there. Those are my thoughts and I'm sticking to them. So here's the deal (and I can do this because it's my blog): You are not allowed to post a negative comment about Obama unless- in the same breath you cite an example of one hero in history that you personally feel you appreciated and would have admired if they were around today. (Only one Reagan per person please- and any Neo-con who cites Christ will be banned forever.)
Is Belichick on crack?
3rd and 18.. need lots more yards for game-tieing field goal... and..... they try a shovel pass.....????!!!!!!..................
Put out my eyes with an ice pick and pinch me- this cannot be what it appears to be.
(I mean, was Tom Brady the shadow coach all this time? Who knew?!!!)
Duane Pick to Click for Election Week
Continuing the Bummer-Free Zone
Daughter of slave votes for Obama
Amanda Jones, 109, the daughter of a man born into slavery, has lived a life long enough to touch three centuries. And after voting consistently as a Democrat for 70 years, she has voted early for the country's first black presidential nominee.
I think no matter which way you lean politically, you've got to marvel at the Change that has taken place during Amanda Jones' life. Change you can believe in, because it's right there in front of your face.
(What's that you say? "The Bradley Effect?" Didn't I say this was a Bummer Free Zone?)
More in the Bummer Free Zone-(this is for you Danny):
And I saved the best for last, this one's for you Charles: Sarah Palin being pranked by Montreal radio station CKOI.. She thinks she's talking to the President of France. For story, click here. For audio, down there in the YouTube box below:
“Julie: Where the hell did you get this? This is nothing short of pretty incredible!! Reading the story of how they got through brings back sweet memories. I mean, I got to McCartney and a few movie stars once or twice- but never this high in a prank call!! Wow! I am impressed.
This would be all over the networks for weeks if it weren't so close to the big Day. Good Job!”
-charles
Happy Day Before Election Day, Everybody.
November 2, 2008
It isn’t who votes that counts, it’s who counts the votes. . .
I will be doing a freeform show on Mana'o Radio this Tuesday November 4th 6-10 Hawai'i time (11AM - 3PM Eastern). It will be available on podcast by Thursday. (Thanks to Mike Newman and Ben Lowengard)
Requests/suggestions welcome.
1. Politician- Cream
2. Elected- Alice Cooper
3. Political Science- Randy Newman
4. etc.
We'll psyche ourselves for the most interesting, most exciting, most historic, most important U.S. election in modern political history. Keep this link! (270 needed to win)
If Obama wins a mandate on Tuesday..
Digressing for a moment, if someone called me a dumb Guinea today, I would laugh... If someone called my friend Patrick a dumb Mick... He would laugh.. If someone called your friend a bitch... She would most likely laugh (and maybe even come back with a devastating, equally-powerful, funny repartee )...because over the past 60 years the oppressed have slowly become the empowered and the empowered find it difficult to be hurt or insulted by expressions that at one time in history were considered insulting racist slurs. Likewise, I believe that- if Barack Obama wins handily this week- it is possible that an ethnic joke that was not PC a year ago will be as funny to him and other African- Americans today as the signs in store windows in the 20's that said, “Irish Need Not Apply” are to us now.”
To put it another way, your age- not your ethnicity- will decide whether you think this sign is funny or not.
-Charles (dumb guinea) Laquidara
Still think your voting won't matter?
...but let's think positive: The glass is half full.
Inspirational Sunday
