Coffee Break
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November 11, 2004
I always wanted to be a Jew
From the first time I found out they don't have a "hell."
It would be cool to be a Jew right now (or at least to adopt or marry one)
Do you agree?
Not only do they not have a "hell-" they have a language that's very descriptive;
It's not boring like French or English; it's colorful and descriptive and cool.
Want to see if you'd make a good Jew? Let's start with the language:
Go here and pay attention; pop quiz two weeks from Tuesday.
Poor Man's eBay
Many of you already know about craigslist.org, an on-line auction site where you can post items and services for sale; and- unlike eBay- it's free!
99% of the auctioned items are for real. Here are some of the more priceless ones out of New York.
Most requested link
If you haven't already seen this, it is buried in the, "Something is rotten in the.." post below. Many, many requests for it, so I am posting it here as a separate link:
Fuck the South
November 10, 2004
Eat My Sour Grapes
(In an attempt to mend fences with Republican friends) I offer the
following simple poem:
"The election is over, the results are known,
the will of the people has been clearly shown.
Let's forget the quarrels and show by our deeds,
we will give our leader all the help that he needs.
Let's all get together, and let bitterness pass,
I'll hug your elephant- and you can kiss my ass."
And I congratulate the American electorate for their decisive vote!
Your Two Cents
The Morning After...
Occasionally, we select your most interesting comments and ideas, and incorporate them into a feature called YOUR TWO CENTS. It is the writings of you readers, un-edited (unless they make no sense as written) and posted here, for all the world of cyberspace to see. A friend of mine sent this to me. While not quite as scathing as Hunter Thompson, I thought you might enjoy it:
Written by a woman in Cleveland the morning after the election--
Click below to read, "Your Two Cents"
"It would be difficult to fully communicate my disappointment in a simple email. On the other hand, slipping out into the hall and drowning myself in the mop bucket would mean that someone else would have to feed my dog.
Kerry has not yet conceded defeat, but I have. Even if someone finds that crate full of votes for Kerry bobbing down the Cuyahoga River, the American people have spoken, and they have sent the world a message: \"We\'re barely bright enough to chew our own food.\"
Incompetence, incoherence, inarticulateness, pettiness and random savagery
apparently do not deter the majority of Americans. The thing that really, REALLY matters to Americans? Homos. And foreigners. Both must be stopped at any cost.
Americans voted overwhelmingly in favor of bigotry, amending state constitutions around the country to prevent same-sex couples from having any rights beyond the right to live on the margins of society. We clearly have far more to fear from The International Homosexual Conspiracy(tm) than we do from North Korea and the collapse of the American health care system.
Apparently, we are truly a nation of slackjawed yokels, awed only by grotesque displays of wealth and violence, reverent only of the bossman and beholden not even to our children, since we seem content to mortgage their future in favor of a $300 tax refund that we have traded for decent jobs, healthcare, and a just society.
We make pious noises about worshipping a Just and Merciful God, while doling out destruction and horror upon the innocent, pausing only to pat ourselves on the back for waging a \"just\" war to rid the world of tyrants that audaciously aspire to exist after they lose their utility to us in endless low-level conflicts to control the world\'s oil supply.
We seem to have become cheap, venal, vulgar and petty while we apparently don\'t have the ability to reason our way out of the dilemma of taking care of the sick, watching out for the elderly, and teaching our children not to be credulous, callow dupes.
To my friends from the UK, France and anyone to whom they choose to forward this, I feel that I owe you an apology. It is as if I have brought an orangutan to high tea. While he flings shit at you and tries to snatch pastries from your plate, I am left wondering how I might make it up to you.
The world\'s richest and most powerful nation seems to have lost its moral compass. We have lost interest in leading by example in favor of taking by force. I would like to say that I believe that one day in the future America might regain its senses. Unfortunately, I am not terribly optimistic. The best I can offer you is to remind you that Nixon also won a second term."
November 9, 2004
Something is Rotten in the State of...
I said that I would close my blog down if Bush won the election "fair and square." and now I am back.
These are five reasons why :
If you want to actually dosomething about this potential larceny-of-all-larcenies, then click here.
The Boston Globe has this take on the issue, so far.
But MSNBC counters with this!
While we are waiting to see how this unravels, click here to give you temporary solace.
I want you to take note of this map and then this map. Put them both on your desktop side by side... Get the picture?
Now that you have checked out those maps, Go here in peace, love and understanding- And I welcome again your comments.
For more rambling musings click below:
I always knew the internet had potential as a powerful force, but it is just hitting me now as to how much force- and how powerful the Net can be. If you are not understanding what has been happening in the last several days, let me put it a bit clearer to you all: The vote fraud rumblings have not hit the mass media yet, but the internet is going to literally compel them to get their heads out of the sand and start investigating- on very high levels- probably within the next several weeks.
I remember how, during the Kennedy assassination controversies, (when there was no internet to stir things up) the media kept printing the reports of mysterious deaths of witnesses (who disputed the Warren Commission findings) but the placement of those obituaries was further and further into the back pages- and you know what your reaction (as a reader) is, to a story that is in the back pages- no matter how outrageous the news is. "ho-hum- That's interesting.. but if it is so important, why is it on page 8?"
David Ferry, Jack Ruby, Lee Harvey Oswald, Sam Giancana- Eventually there were no witnesses remaining to testify, and New Orleans D.A. Jim Garrison was left witness-less and witless, with dick in hand- looking like a stark raving madman.
Watergate is an even better example: remember the "rumblings" were being heard before Tricky's re-election. Remember the Dida Beard scandal and ITT? The GOP bribes and how they called A.G. John Mitchell's wife an alcoholic when she tried to spill the beans? It took a long, long time for the real Watergate story to develop and for the well hidden and protected facts to come out. The mainstream media didn't touch it for quite some time.....
Anyway, I saw how the media was out-manipulated back in the mid-60's and 70's, and I am usually pretty cynical about the truth being outed- especially with a story of this magnitude- but I don't see that being suppressed quite as easily now.
November 4, 2004
Ibid
I said many times that if George W. Bush won fair and square on November 2, I would close down this site. This is my final blog. What you are looking at today is all that's left. You will not be able to play here any more. The grounds are closing. I am now going to fiddle while Amerika burns.
I am letting my old friend, the esteemed Dr. Hunter Thompson, write the final words of the Big Mattress blog.
(Those of you who are regulars know how to reach me. Love you all... Mean it.)
"We have become a Nazi monster in the eyes of the whole world, a nation
of bullies and bastards who would rather kill than live peacefully. We are
not just Whores for power and oil, but killer whores with hate and fear in
our hearts. We are human scum, and that is how history will judge us. No
redeeming social value. Just whores. Get out of our way, or we'll kill
you.
Who does vote for these dishonest shitheads? Who among us can be happy
and proud of having all this innocent blood on our hands? Who are these
swine? These flag-sucking half-wits who get fleeced and fooled by stupid
little rich kids like George Bush?
They are the same ones who wanted to have Muhammad Ali locked up for
refusing to kill gooks. They speak for all that is cruel and stupid and
vicious in the American character. They are the racists and hate mongers
among us; they are the Ku Klux Klan. I piss down the throats of these
Nazis.
And I am too old to worry about whether they like it or not. Fuck
them."
Hunter Thompson
(New Zealand newspaper)
November 2, 2004
amen
...and the winner is.....
things to ponder while waiting for the results to come in.
Trudeau does it again
Did your local paper run this strip? If so, did they leave it this way: f--- ?or did they change it to this: ----?
or did they not run the strip at all that day?
Here's the rest of the story.
...and they're OFF!
If you are going to be a really intense follower of all of today and tonight's shenanigans, I think I just found the ultimate base for you to work from with your computer. *
Check it out- It looks non-partisan, thorough, reliable, credible and really fast with the updates and answers.
Also, remember, bugmenot.com is where you go to put the the newpaper's URL address, if you are nervous about giving out your personal info.
*washingtonpost.com will be with you all day and night to offer live, continuous coverage of the elections. They will help you gauge turnout and make sense of election returns in the race for the presidency and in every U.S. Senate, U.S. House and governor race across the country.
You can also track the results of the constitutional amendments defining marriage being considered in many states, the California stem cell vote and whether Colorado will split its electoral college votes between the candidates.
In addition, the site will feature a really cool thing called, "the Channel Surfer", which will track how the television networks are calling the presidential race in every state.
You can track results of any race in the country using their state and Zip code search and a quick list of the most recently declared winners. Print out their electoral college scorecard and track the states along with the media hotshots.
November 1, 2004
DUI (or: I could have spread my wings, and done a thousand things, and still...)
Halloween is over; Time to sober up and vote! Or you just might end up doing the Funky Chicken!
Predicted Tuesday results
I have been saying to any and all who would listen that if Bush wins fair and square, I am taking my ball and bat and going home and closing this blog for four more years. I don't want to jinx things here, but I might still have a blog on Wednesday morning based on the following:
Here's the map with the latest data:
Here's the interpretation: Specifics, details and projections
In other words- Kerry Wins.
(or not.)
Please read and note: URGENT PHONE NUMBER.
Here is the number of the DNC Voter Hotline:
866-DNC-VOTE
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everybody's talking about voting challenges and problems:
This is one of those e-mailed warnings.
We have checked out its validity with snopes.com so it is legit
No joking around. Here's an important heads up ...
Yesterday a friend voted early at a polling location in Austin. She voted
straight Democratic. When she did the final check, lo and behold every vote
was for the Democratic candidates except that it showed she had voted for
Bush/Cheney for president/vice pres.
She immediately got a poll official. On her vote, it was corrected.
She called the Travis County Democratic headquarters. They took all her
information, and told her that she wasn't the first to report a similar
incident and that they are looking into it.
So check before you leave the polling booth, and if anything is wrong, get
it corrected immediately. Report any irregularities to your local Democratic
headquarters.
Make sure you pass this along to your friends ... hopefully this is all over
the airwaves by tomorrow ...
Things to do on election eve
Try this new card game
and if you are a Queen fan- there's this.
Wha?Dya think that guy Kerry can do better??!!
P.S. If your computer screen is making this too difficult to read, please
click here.