O'Douls, Clausthaler, O'Dweeds
Is it just the THC? Well, then- We can fix that!
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October 31, 2004
October 30, 2004
Dick F___ g Cheney
Scarface takes over the RNC
Which dog is yours?
Hawai'i Lost Dog Report
Let's end one more controversy
and bury one more lie with facts
Click on the shoes to move through the lies to get to the truth.
Welcome Back, Hunter
Just when trivia games throughout America were starting to include the obligatory "dead or alive" question, Hunter Thompson makes an unexpected reappearance in the national press- in order to be counted in.
October 28, 2004
One Last Time
the Final Red Sox Victory Post...
Too into Halloween
2004's Scariest Costumes (WARNING! Tasteless and Reprehensible)
(If you have any "Too Into Halloween" bits to offer, please e-mail them to me before the week ends)
Say it ain't so, Curt
Red Sox hero goes on TV to urge vote for incumbent.
Oh, well- It was fun while it lasted.
Wait- What's that sound....? Oooops!
Somebody must have told this incredibly wonderful pitcher-just-turned-Jesus-Freak-Right-Wing-bigmouth that he was mangling the buzz of at least half of sports-loving America; and to shut up, pitch and keep his politics to himself.
I think..
I posted that the New England Patriots would beat Miami's unbeaten record at the end of last season.
I was one of the few people in the world that knew the Red Sox would do it, even when they were three games down to the NY Yankees. (Check my posts from three weeks ago to now.) I also predicted a World Series ring finally for the "idiots from Boston."
Of course, now there's a TX vs. MA huge contest happening on Tuesday. A three-fer would be so sweet, wouldn't it? I wish I had the same confidence in a Kerry victory as I did for the sports teams- but I don't. I hate to say this, and I pray (well, I would pray if I weren't an atheist, nihilist, agnostic or whatever I am supposed to be) I pray that it will not happen, but I think that George Bush is going to win this election, and I am depressed about it.
So, you wanna know what people like me do in the face of impending DOOM? We fall into the fairy-tale land of pretend and make-believe and "what-if-" That's what we do.
Wanna see what that is like? It's pretty cool; I've been doing it all my life. (You should have seen the way I jumped on those two dudes who were firing from the grassy knoll back in '63 and beat the shit out of them before the cops came and took over... and you would have loved the way I kidnapped Christa McAuliffe on January 27, 1986, and held her captive until after the Mother Ship took off.
but I digress..
Come into my brain for a minute...
(Thanks to J. L. Crane)
YOUR TWO CENTS
Occasionally, we select your most interesting comments and ideas, and incorporate them into a feature called YOUR TWO CENTS. It is the writings of you readers, un-edited (unless they make no sense as written) and posted here, for all the world of cyberspace to see.
We just got this from JIBBY, a housewife from a suburban town east of the Mississippi:
"You've gotta admit, things are getting surreal lately. I'm not trying to buzz mangle or anything: Yay Red Sox and all that. But the fact that the Red Sox won the World Series last night after 86 years of unsuccessful attempts, ending a "curse", under a total lunar eclipse-- it's enough to give you the allovers.
Then when you think about the upcoming election-- just days away now-- with the country evenly divided and everything too close to call, the feeling of hope and possibility coupled with the feeling of impending doom is enough to make you run mad in the street.
The winds of change are blowing: Eighty-year-old Chief Justice Rehnquist has thyroid cancer. Pope John Paul is 84, and struggling with Parkinsons. Nobody denies that 78-year-old Fidel Castro just fell and broke his knee and arm, but there's no confirming or denying rumors that he has advanced cancer. And today whispers conflict about whether Yasser Arafat is near death or already dead, or whether he's fine and had cornflakes for breakfast.
And so as this Halloween weekend approaches, I'm trying to exorcize my own demons: worries about the worldwide changes on the horizon and concerns that we might not elect a president who is equal to the challenges these changes will pose. But I will try to have faith-- I'll take my inspiration from RedSox Nation and BELIEVE. Miracles DO happen.. perhaps the curse is lifted for us all."
October 27, 2004
Goodbye Curse!
Eighteen years to the day after the Mets' Jesse Orosco struck out Boston's Marty Barrett for the final out in 1986, Keith Foulke, the Red Sox' closer, fielded a grounder from Edgar Renteria, who wears Ruth's No. 3.The series was over, and catcher Jason Varitek pounced on Foulke between the mound and the first-base line. The rest of the team poured from the dugout and the bullpen, a joyous throng.
The Three Muskateers
The only bad thing about a Boston team being in the finals? CLICK BELOW TO READ
"..My only pet peeve about having a Boston team in the Finals: When the Boston mayor makes the stupid bet with the other team's mayor. Drives me crazy.
For instance, before the World Series, Mayor Menino of Boston wagered a bunch of Boston beer and food products (Legal Seafood's clam chowder, a case of Sam Adams beer, 11 pounds of Dunkin Donuts coffee and a bunch of other Boston-related stuff in exchange for Anheuser-Busch Products, Toasted Ravioli, Bissinger Chocolate and some other St. Louis goodies from Mayor Clark Griswold.
That's a bet? Those are high stakes? "Oh, no, we lost ... darn, we're never gonna replace all that clam chowder; I never should have let him sucker me into that." Please. I hate this stuff. Just one of these times, I want one of the mayors to throw something out there like, "If you guys win, I'll sleep with a transvestite ... if we win, you have to try heroin and speed at the same time." Now THAT would get people talking."
-Bill Simmons (ESPN)
Estrogen Wednesday
Boston sports teams are like men in relationships:
The Patriots are like the new boyfriend that you really like- he's awesome but almost too good to be true, so you worry.
The Bruins are like the guy that you just casually dated and you don't really care about him, he's just something to do.
The Celtics are like the marriage that was great at one time but has lost its spark and you always kinda look back and think about how great it was.
And the Red Sox are the hard core abusive husband who just absolutely beats the shit out of you, but day after day you always go back to him cause you always believe that tomorrow will be different and you just love him too much.
Go Red Sox!
This just in: The abusive husband sustained a head injury last April, (a la Regarding Henry) and is a totally new man. The past is the past- and yes- Miracles do happen!
Happy Halloween!
Vengeance is SOOoooooooo (tasty!)
October 26, 2004
Estrogen Wednesday
Reason # 11 Why she married the big lug...
Ain't that the truth..
If your eyes or your computer screen is making this a bit of work, click here for the really big, clear, original version.
By the way, here's your November 2 election guide from our friends at the Onion.
Proof that I am just having a nightmare
..and when I wake up, I will laugh at the absurdity of my dreams.
Wall Street Journal corrections page:
Please read third correction and pinch me quick (or just pluck out my eyes with an icepick)
Countdown to Tuesday...
Never before have I seen this "reworking of the system"
"But Democrats, and some Ohio election officials as well, say the most potentially disruptive action could be Republican challenges of voters' eligibility filed over the past few days. Although some of the more than 35,000 challenges have been withdrawn or rejected by county officials, about 25,000 are pending."
The stealing of the Presidency (Part 2- 2004)
Bush leading in the polls
"People become stupid in increments which ascend or descend relative to the degree of fear they have."
- Charles Laquidara (10/27/2004)
October 25, 2004
Testosterone Tuesday
"Damn those Ranger fans!"
How good are your eyes? See how many replays it takes for you to figure out what Foulked Keith up.
Pulp Faction
Cast of characters (in order of appearance)...
Oh, never mind- you'll know them when you see them.
Lights... Camera...Action!
Cartoon of the Week
The media is the messhuguna
Not-before-breakfast Monday
Why am I already sorry I posted this?
October 24, 2004
This was written on March 15, 2003 (before the Iraqi invasion)
In retrospect, he was absolutely on the money
12 SHORT REASONS WHY BUSH'S WAR WOULD BE TERRIBLE FOR AMERICA
I'm a military historian and we're generally a pessimistic lot, but I had a very optimistic theory about George W. Bush's recent push for war: I've been sure it's a bluff. This entire idea of Bush's war makes so little long-term sense, is so unlikely to make things better, and is so very likely to make things worse, that I can't believe he'd really do it.
But many of my friends don't think Bush is that intelligent. They think he might actually invade Iraq. Certainly his cabal of TV supporters believe him.
So in the interest of focusing a lot of big issues into a small space, I've distilled down these 12 paragraphs. Articulate, independent critics of the war are mostly banned from TV, so we have to take our arguments personally to everyone we can.
Please feel free to copy and circulate this, as long as you keep it intact.
-Douglas Miller
Click below (and move over, Nostradamus)
1. America invading Iraq would be the best thing that ever happened to Bin Laden.
Sending Christians to kill Iraqis and take over their country would be a great step forward for Bin Laden's campaign to convince the Moslem world that the US is an aggressor nation. And best of all for Bin Laden, America is doing this by eliminating his sworn enemy: Saddam Hussein, the anti-fundamentalist dictator of the future "Islamic nation of Iraq". It's your basic win/win for Bin Laden.
2. Bush's war would unite most of the Moslem world against us.
In the Moslem world, it is almost universally believed that American funding of Israel is what enables its military expansion into Arab lands. They know America refuses to enforce UN sanctions against this land grab and has done nothing to stop Israel's acquisition of weapons of mass destruction. At the same time, most of the Moslem people fear self-righteous religious fanatics as much as we do, and few objected to our overthrow of the Taliban in Afghanistan. But now Bush has single handedly squandered the good will the world felt towards us after the World Trade Center massacre. Instead of going after Bin Laden and his terrorists, America is now seen as going after an Islamic nation that had nothing to do with 9-11. To quote from an Algerian journalist who successfully infiltrated an Al Qaeda recruiting cell, "The Americans are about to do the stupidest thing imaginable. An attack on Iraq will nourish terrorism." (LATimes, March 2, '03)
3. Bush's war would unite most of the rest of the world against us.
America is 1/20th of the world's population. The vast majority of the world's people are seeing America as a bully, instead of an enlightened leader. Most Europeans are already strongly against this war, and they have more experience with fighting Moslem terrorists than we do. Arguments that Europeans have an "obligation" to support Bush and are only opposing his war because "they hate us and prefer Saddam Hussein", are just more attempts by America's punditocracy to stifle real debate.
4. America attacking a country that has not attacked us sets the worst possible precedent.
Is this America's new message to other nations: Next time you find your neighbor has a serious weapons program, you can attack them first, start a war and slaughter their inhabitants, then put somebody you want in charge there? Even against the wishes of the United Nations? In Germany I once interviewed a WWII survivor who wanted me to understand that Hitler had done the world "a favor" by starting that war. Germany knew they would "have to" fight Poland and Russia "eventually", so they had "no choice" but to attack "pre-emptively", before Stalin got any stronger. Now Bush is using this same argument. If he gets away with it, "Pre-emptive strike" could become the most frightening, and common, military euphemism of the 21st Century.
5. America's own support for this war is extremely thin.
Public opinion polls show that little more than half the American public support the war at all, and even this figure drops in half again when the pollsters ask if our country should go it alone. And this is without anything bad happening yet, just the banal rhetoric of "regime change", "liberation", and "high tech precision". Soon it will switch to "body bags", "atrocities", "expressions of regret", and "retaliations against Americans". Where will the public mood go then? War is the hardest thing a country can do, the most extreme thing, yet where is the deep support for this long haul of death and disaster? Where are the pro-war rallies? Quite simply, you can't fight a war based on tepid support at home.
6. One of the greatest un-argued assumptions of this war is that the Iraqis won't fight back in any meaningful way.
Why has there been so little discussion about the killing? Pundits on TV talk about war as blithely as they do the deficit or their outrage over airline delays. Of course, the U. S. media is not unusual in this respect, since nearly every country in history has gone to war without a debate about what war really is about, which is killing. Nobody on the pro-war side seems very concerned about the Iraqis, but what if they start killing us? When the Iran/Iraq war of the 1980s turned against Iraq, and it appeared that Iran might successfully overrun their country, the Iraqis fought back with a ferocity that killed over half a million people on both sides. And they used chemical weapons (which America knew about and didn't oppose). What if that Army shows up, instead of the quick-to-surrender Iraqi army that we expect? Remember that in the 1990 Gulf War the Iraqi Army never really fought back, never even maneuvered in the face of the Coalition ground offensive. We learned after the war that Saddam, while misleading Schwartzkopf by bragging about "the mother of all battles", was secretly abandoning his troops in Kuwait and withdrawing his best men into the interior of Iraq, fully intending to fight it out inside the cities.
7. To wage aggressive war without a Declaration of War is clearly unconstitutional.
What part of "congress shall have the power to make war" don't you understand? It's supposed to be hard to get 2/3 of America's legislators to vote for war, and that's exactly the way the Founding Fathers, in their wisdom, meant it to be. The creators of our Constitution further clarified this in their own writings, particularly those of George Washington, because they felt non-democratic countries got into war all too easily. Our Founding Fathers wanted war to be debated in the Congress and publicly voted on. Bush has had two years to do this.
8. This war will sink our already battered economy, both at home and abroad.
Bush is obviously counting on war as a short-term stimulant for our economy. But the bill has to be paid eventually or the economy will nose-dive again. In World War II the tax rates on America's richest were 3 times what they are now---yet in 2003 instead of personal sacrifice, while our servicemen are being asked to give their very lives, Bush wants the rich to get a huge tax cut! Our budget will return to gigantic deficits that your children will have to pay for. Bush is making history here. If anyone out there reading this can come up with any example in human history, with the thousands of wars fought, of a country starting one by cutting taxes, please let this author know. We are entering a long-term gamble of epic proportions, and the fact that George Bush is not asking for true sacrifice makes one question his sanity. And if the Pentagon's latest estimate is for the war to cost Americans $100 Billion, you can be reasonably sure it's going to be twice that. Finally, just imagine the consequences if a large part of the world starts boycotting American goods.
9. War is always a grand crapshoot---and every country that has ever started one did so with the firm belief that it would triumph in a brief war.
With Bush's plan, Americans will be the ones who actually initiate the killing. Throughout the world the Iraqis are going to be seen as the victims. In the 19th Century, civilians generally made up 15% of war's casualties. In the 20th Century, that rose to 75%. This was true in even in the 1990 Gulf War, where 95% of the bombs were not "smart", and where the Pentagon admits of the 5% that were, over half missed their targets. Civilians were also the majority of casualties in Kosovo and Afghanistan, though the Pentagon has gone to great lengths to make sure accurate civilian casualty counts are no longer made. Americans, because we live in one of the few countries that has never been bombed, have always told ourselves that when our Air Force kills thousands of women and children its OK because "we weren't directly aiming at them". But somehow that excuse doesn't go over very well outside our own borders. Why has no one answered the question of how many casualties we are willing to cause, and to take? And if Iraq truly does have chemical and bio weapons, won't this invasion guarantee their use against Americans?
10. Even our supposed allies are not to be relied on.
Look closely at our only internationally important "ally": England. With friends like these ? Tony Blair is out on a limb in his support for this one, and unfortunately for him England is a democracy where 75% of the people, and the leaders of his own party, oppose this war. The recent anti-war demonstrations they had were the largest peacetime rallies in the history of England. And this is our best supporter! The others are either unimportant, like Bulgaria or Spain (because they're not committing their own troops), or even more dubious "bribed" nations like Turkey. Even after paying the government the astounding sum of $15 billion, Turkey's largely Moslem population is unlikely to stay quiet once the families crushed to death by US bombs begin showing up on their TVs.
11. A quick march into Baghdad will just be the beginning of Bush's war.
America seems to be dealing with this huge issue of post-war Iraq by ignoring it. I ask constantly, "How does America intend to implement its plan (whatever that is) in this complicated, totally foreign society?" What if the country begins to fragment? What if Saddam and the U S Air Force have destroyed the water and power lines and polluted everything with chemical and bio poisons? What if the Kurds want to break off and join with the other Kurds who live in Turkey and form their own country? Will we start killing them? Will our ally the Turks kill them? What if snipers and bombers continue to kill our boys long after Fox News has declared our great victory? Will we "crack down hard" on the Iraqis? Will we try massive retaliations? Selective murders? Torture? Relocate the population to concentration camps?
12. There have been hundreds of military invasions since 1900 and, in every single case, the invader was eventually defeated.
America will eventually leave Iraq. Maybe we will leave behind a stable, flowering non-threatening mid-east country. An Iraq where the new strongman will agree with Bush that only other countries in their region, like Pakistan and Israel, should have weapons of mass destruction. Or we will be driven out, as we were in Vietnam, Somalia, and Lebanon. Remember that this war means everything to the Iraqis---it is the most important thing in their lives. To the average American it means little. Saddam and his powerful circle know if an invasion begins, that they will be killed. There is no way out for them. Since surrender means certain death, they have no choice but to fight, kill as many as they can, and make the invaders as sorry as possible that they came. Modern wars are easy to start, but very, very hard to stop.
Douglas Miller
dougmill1@aol.com
Please feel free to circulate this article, as long as it is un-edited and un-altered.
ouch, babe
How much would you bid?
Auctions R Us
October 23, 2004
Test yourself for dementia
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.
You must answer them instantly.
You can not take your time- answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready?
GO!!!
(click below)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
Answer: He just has to open his mouth and ask.
Go Red SOx!
October 22, 2004
Hey, Crawforrd- He's loose agin! Come git him!
President George W. Bush gives the thumbs up sign as he walks across the South Lawn towards the Marine One helicopter with his daughter Barbara, as they depart the White House for a campaign trip, October 22, 2004. Without fanfare, Bush signed into law on Friday a nearly $140 billion corporate tax cut bill derided by both Democratic presidential rival John Kerry and Republican Sen. John McCain as a giveaway to special interests.
-Reuters)
Can't wait to see who he pardons if he loses on the 2nd, and gets to do his version of the Holy Sparing Ceremony. Remember how Clinton got clobbered for the dopey pardons he gave out in his last weeks in office? I'm betting Bush makes Clinton look like Mother Teresa.
Let's see.... Who do you think will be on the Bush pardon list? Kenneth Lay for starters.... Rush Limbaugh....Tom Delay- even before he gets indicted...Henry Kissinge- Oh, they haven't nailed him for his war crimes yet. (Sorry.)
Not that it will do any good, but-
If you (give a shit, and) want to get involved for the first time in your (worthless) life (of hedonism,endless slacking and looking the other way,), here's your chance to stir up some really good Karma.
If you know you are a solid American, and a true patriot- Do your part
Only red-blooded, non-hypocritical, true-blue, put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is Americans need apply:
Take the pledge
October 21, 2004
Quick Joke to forward
QUESTION.
what's the difference between the vietnam war and the iraq war?
ANSWER.
George W. Bush had a plan to get out of vietnam....
This one is not a joke, but it's something you probably already knew instinctively.
It's still a week too early for this...
but it works for right now.
Click here to find out Who's Your Mommy?
"..and on the seventh game he arose...."
Forget about all the countless other articles circulating right now- This is a Boston perspective- the definitive encapsulation of the Yankee coup-de-tat: the Nation's Independence Day.
And here's the best one we have read from New York's point of view.
Urgent: Click below for a free copy of the latest Apple product (better than iPhoto, iChat and iTunes combined!)
October 20, 2004
Get it On
Fashionable outfits for the well-dressed Republican
A Sneak Preview
Ocala, Florida • November 2, 2004 • 5:50 P.M.
Do your Civic Duty: Join a voter and try out the new Diebold voting machine
Red Sox Scrapbook
Only two North American sports teams had ever come back from a 3-0 deficit to win a series - the 1942 Maple Leafs against Detroit and the 1975 Islanders against Pittsburgh in a sport called hockey. Surely, you remember hockey.. But this was baseball and it was happening for Boston.
(Side note: If Houston wins the NL pennant, look for the ultimate Texas vs. Massachusetts match-up- just in time for the really big Texas vs. Massachusetts contest on NOV 2!)
This Just In: The 2003 film "Still We Believe -the Boston Red Sox movie" became moot, irrelevant and obsolete 48 hours ago.
This is 2004 and the sequel is even better than the original!
In Hype-Happy World, One Rivalry Measures Up
N.Y. Times lead sports story
"Now there is a new twist to the rivalry between the Red Sox
and the Yankees. The Red Sox have staged the greatest
comeback in the history of postseason baseball."
"In true Red Sox fashion, they even survived a Grady Little moment, the death-wish insertion of Pedro Martínez into the game by Terry Francona, which roused Yankees fans out of their sullen stupor. Until the final out, any Boston fan would have sourly insisted that something dreadful could still ruin this huge lead...."
But The smell of "victory" was in the air after game 6:
"Mission Accomplished!"- Curt Schilling
A-Rod, the Swatter, gets down and dirty 
A-Rod gets- swatted yells, whines, throws tissy-fit...
Drunken Bronx fans get cranky.
Swat team comes out to swat bad Yankee fans • 55000 begin to shut up
"Swatter" Baby Doll- Marked down Special!
GAME 7 TONIGHT
YANKEE STADIUM• THE HOUSE THAT WHAT'S'ISNAME? BUILT
FOR ALL THE MARBLES!
In the words of Michael Buffer, "Get Ready To RUM-M-MBL-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-LLLLLLLE”
More (LOTS MORE)
Would jon stewart DARE to go on CNN's CROSSFIRE?
Yes, and (it was pretty funny).
(Go, Tucker, Go!) Text only
The BBC's take.
None of the above worked for me when I went back to this site yesterday, but I did manage (after a bit of button pushing) to get a better version- the unedited, complete segment, (including the questions from the Crossfire audience) at this site. Try it- It's worth the work if you can get the whole thing.
Anyone with any suggestions as to how to get the entire interview please let us know. (Does Crossfire provide video excerpts, like PBS?)
Estrogen Wednesday
October 19, 2004
October is my daddy...
"You can tell when fall is in the air; for Boston it's the annual transition from false hope to heart-breaking defeat."
-David Letterman
"It feels like we've been here a month"
-Alex Rodriguez, (eager to get back to N.Y.)
Do NOT- I repeat- Do NOT- Give up on this team yet!
The fat lady has learned to not to even pick up the microphone until the last out of the last inning of any Red Sox game.
With these two teams, it could be NY sweeping four straight,
or not.
Boston in 7!
Question: Now that we are down to Game 7, which of the two scenarios is your worst nightmare?
1. Sox lose game 7 in New York Wednesday night, after staging record breaking 3-game comeback.
or
2. Sox beat Yankees in final ALCS game, play Houston in World Series, and lose to Roger Clemens in game 7
Testosterone Tuesday
Unions are killing this country, and here is a prime example. I don't
know about other areas of America, but a growing trend here in Rhode Island
is for people to be a little on the lazy side.
It is not that uncommon for as many as 14 to 18 Union People to
just stand around, drink coffee or soda, and watch- as only one person is doing the work.
Tthe situation is out of hand here in New England, and we hope it's not as widespread in your area.
Union Problems (bigtime)
October 18, 2004
How could you do this?
To Head of Consumer Affairs:
Applebees Inc.
My wife and I are retired, and we spend 6 months each year back in Massachusetts, where we were raised. We have been going to Applebees in Newton for many years, but now we will never go again, and we are telling all of our friends not to eat there either.
Although most of the time we vote Republican, we are so angered at the horrible move Sinclair Broadcasting is making, by compelling all of their affiliates to air a non-objective, very one-sided and hateful anti-Kerry movie on all their stations this week- without commercials, in order to get more viewers. YOUR company is one of the regular sponsors on their stations, and it is detestable to us that our favorite restaurant is regularly putting dollars into that kind of corporation.
I don't believe in boycotts normally, but this is about fairness- and the abuse of power- by Sinclair. It smacks of UN-Americanism at its height.
You do not need to write us back; certainly not with an auto-reply, because- unless it is to tell me that you are pulling all of your buys from all Sinclair stations- we are not interested in hearing about it.
Thank you,
E & B Seymour
Miami, FL
"You're Fired for having integrity!!!"
Joseph DeFeo, Sinclair's boot-licking, sycophant Vice-President for "News" has just fired his Washington Bureau Chief, for saying the show in question was absolutely not news, and should not be handled by the News Department.
redneck surfing
Who wants to ride shotgun?
October 17, 2004
Buzz-Mangler
Sometimes it's hard to decide what to post and what not to post on this blog. I think that sometimes there is far too much politics, and not enough ribaldry, outrageousness and creative material- things we served up copiously to listeners of the former Big Mattress radio show last century.
But things are very different now. I know that often I lean further to the Left than some of my liberal colleagues. My blog is disgustingly one-sided, very subjective and politically predictable. It is that way because I see these times as being more dangerous than any in my lifetime- and, because of this unusual state of the state- I feel justified in airing my thoughts and opinions freely on these pages. It is a platform which I feel lucky to even have, and I love the back-and-forth sharing with those of you who agree and disagree with me.
If Bush wins the election fair and square on November 2, this blog will be de-activated. It is not so much a case of me "taking my ball and bat and going home." It's more about me not being inspired to continue for months responding with the same old Bush jokes, Ashcroft cartoons, countless editorials and all the blah blah drama that will surely come with that unthinkable victory. I will take a break to make other choices as to how to live my life: to decide what I want to do with the extra time I will then have, to go out and undertake other ventures.
If Kerry wins, I will be more inclined to keep the blog active; there will be less pressure to be overly political, and it will be more personal, even more interactive, more creative (I hope), and decidedly much more fun.
That said, let me leave you with this Seymour Hersh article*. It gave me a genuine flashback- and it also inspired me to write the above words. So, I don't know if I'm doing you a favor by posting this, or if I'm fucking up your day. In either case, like a piece of pasta being tested to see if it sticks or not, I'm posting
it up here for you to pass on- or to eat and digest.
-Charles
Let's drink to happier days ahead...
.. and many wonderful dialogues!
*Seymour Hersh is the most important investigative journalist of our
time. (He broke the stories on My Lai and Abu Ghraib.) He recently
spoke about Iraq and what he had to say was, to put it mildly, quite
disturbing.
This is not a pleasant story to read. Please remember that Hersh is
extremely well connected and has access to many sources deep within
the workings of Washington. He is also extremely reliable, and when
he tells us something we can be sure that it is so.
October 16, 2004
The First Domino falls
"John Kerry has qualities that could be the basis for a
great chief executive and we enthusiastically endorse him
for president."
-the New York Times*
"We look back on the past four years with hearts nearly breaking, both for the lives unnecessarily lost and for the opportunities so casually wasted. Time and again, history invited George W. Bush to play a heroic role, and time and again he chose the wrong course. We believe that with John Kerry as president, the nation will do better."
*Note: If you have a problem with the concept of "registering" for a newspaper or periodical, simply click here and then enter their link (it starts with http://) into the space provided. You will then receive the article with no record of your private info). • No extra charge for that tip.
Subscribe now please
If you haven't done so already, please go over to the orange column (Usually on the right, but maybe on the bottom) it looks like this:
When you find it, please go to where it asks you to subscribe, type in your e-mail address and click on subscribe.
It's that simple.
Bloglet will e-mail you back a password. Save it, or change it- and ignore everything else they ask you to do, unless you understand what they are trying to say.
Once you get your user name and password from them, you will get daily updates on the new posts.
If you have tried and tried, and can't do it, please e-mail me, and I will do it for you.
Thanks.
Love you.
(Mean it...)
c
Animals gone wild
Horror movie
Road Rage
Guilt Trip
Respect Mother Nature
Mousy Python
Where is the Love?
Somewhere in a town near Boston...
Two Down- One to go
Would jon stewart DARE to go on CNN's CROSSFIRE?
If you know anyone with kids in grade school
Please don't kill the messenger:
Following the Sally Foster money trail
Deport the President • Support the Troops
October 15, 2004
This Blog is too serious
Let's just go to a freakin' movie, and forget about all this Iraq and al Quaeda stuff for a moment. How about First Daughter? (That sounds light and fluffy).
Contributing to this blog
A regular Big Mattress blog reader sent me the above attachment the other day. Even though he is subscribed, he apparently missed the similar pic which was posted and sent to him a week earlier.
This brings to mind a few thoughts I would like to share:
Even though I sometimes whine to "stop sending me this! I've seen it 30 times!!" the bottom line is, that I need you who are now reading this to continue to send me things that you think are 'the balls'.
In addition to airing some of my own thoughts, opinions and fantasies, much of my blog is gleaned from what I consider to be the best stuff out there in cyberspace which you all send me, and which I filter and post for everyone to read.
Here's my promise:
• I will not take the Lord's name in vain
• I will not do bad actions with mysel-
oh, sorry (That's tonight's confession)
Here's my promise:
• I promise that I will never again complain when someone sends me something which I have already seen.
So, Please continue to send me stuff which you have received (or which you have discovered yourself) and feel is great to share, or important to know about- even if you think I already saw it.
This includes political stuff from the Right which I always welcome (There are still not enough conservatives contributing to this blog! Please send this link to your conservative friends and ask them to give danny, robert, and memory man a little support.)
Also, please continue sending me tasteless stuff, like the "Voting for Bush is like.." poster (which I decided not to post, but will send it to you if you e-mail me) and, of course, I always need suggestions for Testosterone Tuesday and Estrogen Wednesday.
Thanks for listening.
October is my daddy...
"You can tell when fall is in the air; for Boston it's the annual transition from false hope to heart-breaking defeat."
-David Letterman
Do NOT- I repeat- Do NOT- Give up on this team yet!
The fat lady has learned to not to even pick up the microphone until the last out of the last inning of any Red Sox game.
With these two teams, it could be NY sweeping 4 straight,
or
Boston in 7!
October 14, 2004
Senior Friday
Every 6 months we have to laser the top and drop the lawnmower down a bit,
to where there's still follicles...
On this we can all possibly agree (maybe?)
Doin' the Samba
"Abe Lincoln could never get elected today; he was ugly- and... Didn't he have a wart on his face?"
-D. Glasscock
Two Down- One to go
1. SHwoooooooSHhhhhhh
2. Grungier than Monica
Testimonials: the Man in the street. What do you think?
3. Mom in park
BMRs for BMBOs
All Great Presidents Leave Something Behind
(actually, all any-kind-of-presidents leave something behind)
They will stop at nothing (Part 4)
Will the next terrorist attack come from within our own borders?
Blog Tribute to R.D.
Ten jokes by Rodney Dangerfield:
1. Mother never breast-fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a
friend.
2. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a
radio.
3. When I was a kid, I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the
kidnappers sent my parents a note, it said, "We want $5,000 or you'll see
your kid again.
4. I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great-uncle fought
for the West.
5. When I was a kid, I turned to crime. I was so stupid, I picked a guy's
pocket in an airplane and made a run for it.
6. I'm a very bad lover. I caught a Peeping Tom booing at me.
7. My wife is the worst cook in the world. In my house, you pray after you
eat.
8.I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I
swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and
get some rest.
9. I got no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician, I
would be honest.
10. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
The New York Times, 10/10/04
That place in our hearts
Just received this heart-wrenching e-mail, and wanted to share it with you all.
Although I have never met the gentle man, I am taking the proceeds from the recent sale of my car and wiring it to Mr. Lucas' family immediately. I would like to welcome others to join me in this effort as well. If each of you would dig deep down this one time, to help better the life of someone less fortunate than us, the Karma generated will certainly return three-fold.
Mr. Lucas e-mail:
MR ANDRE LUCAS
Tel-0039- 339-626-9886
Email-andrelucas@zwallet.com
Dear Friend,
As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe death is unavoidable..
My name is ANDRE LUCAS a business merchant in Durban, South Africa. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer .It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts in Italy. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone(not even myself)but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for.But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and gave most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends.
I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organization in Algeria and Rwanda. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to closeone of my accounts and distribute the money which I have in the bank to charity organization in Somalia and Uganda, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.
The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Nine Million United State Dollars $9,000,000,00 that I have with a finance brokers and Security underwriters in Europe, this financial company operates in funds management,international cash,banking with a reputable correspondent bank worldwide,bullion underwriting,security handling and general appropriation. I will want you to assist me transfer this deposit into your bank account and dispatched it to charity organizations .Please kindly contact me through the above telephone number for more details.Keep this confidential and treat with discretion,while i await to hear from you.
I have set aside 15% for you and for your assistance.
God be with you.
Andre Lucas.
the News Dissector
Anyone old enough to remember the "golden days" of Underground Radio in Boston will certainly remember Danny Schecter, the News Dissector. Danny was to east coast listeners, as his counterpart Scoop Nisker was to FM radio-lovers on the left coast.
What's the News Dissector been up to? So glad you asked..
"Danny Schecter, the news dissector- perhaps the nation's longest practicing media-critic- has a documentary film about the media and the war, WMD, Weapons of Mass Deception, now in previews. It shows vividly the media pretense, all dead certainty and farcical pomposity, against the now evident confection and put-up job and balderdash and mess of sentiment and bromides and unexamined blah-blah which constituted almost everybody's tale of the war."
-Vanity Fair, current issue, p 190
October 13, 2004
I dream of Jeannie
Also, Janie, Georgianna and Joanna Banana
Georgianna
Ms. Janie
Joanna Forbes
Jeannie
Candidates in drag
... or,
(Shattering that "glass ceiling" into hopeless chards)
Well, it IS pretty funny
Here's a one-hit wonder for your dining and dancing pleasure.
The Horror Behind the Humor.
They will stop at nothing...
..and it seems that we are powerless.. and the clock ticks...*
But there is a practical and realistic way to fight back .
PICK A MARKET
Call them, or send them an e-mail similar to this:
"You are advertising on a local Sinclair TV station which is airing that slanted anti-Kerry movie, "Stolen Honor: Wounds That Never Heal" this week. In the future, I will choose to buy products other than yours. What the Sinclair stations are doing is both unthinkable and Un-American. Please do not advertise on this station. Let's keep the playing field of politics level and fair."
Trust me- I know it works (been there- done that).
click and read below to see what two minutes of your time could bring:
Your comment:
We are informing all of Sinclair Broadcasting sponsors of our intent to begin a national boycott of all Sinclair advertisers. By demanding their stations to air the John Kerry video they have allowed their private agenda to become corporate policy. This flies in the face of their obligations as licensees to serve in the public's best interest. These, after all, are our airwaves. Their actions demean the democratic process and we will be most thorough and active in mobilizing this boycott. We hope you will consider our position and use your influence to impress upon the SBC board the lack of integrity this decision reflects.
Sincerely,
J B
National Sinclair Broadcasting Boycott Committe
___________________________________________________________________________
Dear JB,
We appreciate the time you took to share your concern with us.
Please be assured that Red Bull will not be running any commercials or sponsoring the Sinclair Group's presentation of the John Kerry program.
In addition, Red Bull would not run commercials or sponsor programming that would seek to denigrate our President, Ralph Nader or any other candidate for our national office.
Thank you again for contacting us.
With kind regards,
Hedder Ilustre
Red Bull North America
They will stop at nothing (part 3)
Read it and weep
Calling Tech Support
On Oct 13, 2004, at 2:59 AM, Stephen MiniMe wrote:
"Chuck,
Every time I try to get onto the blog it partially opens then freezes up, forcing me to "Force Quit". Is anyone else having this problem?
-Steve"
Steve:
First time I've ever heard this. I am just guessing, but it might have to do with your memory, (or maybe the computer's memory) and the thing they call your cache.. But I am just a retired ex-famous disk jockey- What do I know..? I will post this and see what OWKMTI think.
Cowboy Down
POP QUIZ
![test[1]](http://www.bigmattress.com/weblog/images/test[1].gif)
October 12, 2004
WIRED!
OKAY! (Jeez..)
Sir:
You need a new Estrogen Wednesday blogger.. Badly.
Post this picture as soon as possible, or face the consequences.
(Signed,)
The Hell Hath No Fury Brigade
(Well, at least he isn't nude, singing, and playing the bongos)
-c
More TESTOSTERONE TUESDAY
and, speaking of elephants...
October 11, 2004
Testosterone Tuesday
This week's Pop Quiz: What's black and comes in a white box?
(As always, TT posts are not Work-Friendly:)
I am Nordegren- and you're not!
I'm can't play golf, Elin, but I'm could brrrush you- and keep you nice!
I don't go much for ear-rings or belly-button rings- Really..
I just looked at him like this.. and I said, "Four ball no more, tiger."
October 10, 2004
They will stop at nothing
..and you are powerless.. and the clock ticks*
*If you are jittery about "registering" to any publications, simply click on the above link, and- before giving them any info- copy/paste their URL here. (Pass the word to your friends re: this little gem site!)
You supply the
Write your in the comment section below. Maybe someone from SNL or the Onion will discover you!
Your Two Cents
Once a week, we select your best comments and ideas, and incorporate them into a new feature called YOUR TWO CENTS. It is your writings, un-edited (unless they make no sense as written) and posted here, for all the world of cyberspace to see.
Mattress blog regular, h came up with these two links that are really cool, (and get cooler by the day) as we inch toward November 2, 2004- The day of the most important presidential election in 143 years.
(This is some serious interactive shit.
Click on each site regularly, and watch as the bubbles pop- all around the U.S.of A.
DeNiro on SNL
The Hunt for Terrorists
Please let me know if this plays (or doesn't play) in its entirety for you all.
October 9, 2004
Bing Crosby sings today's History lesson
Thanks for the memories.....da dum doo de da.. da dee da dum
Calling all former Hippies!
What is the answer???!
Cartoons from The New Yorker were always my conundrum. This is why I don't even try anymore. (makes my brain hurt)
Before everyone sends it to me.
Click on, "Good to Be in D.C."
Restored VW Bug
Anyone want to see my precious?
October 8, 2004
War of the signs on NBC
Bush adviser, Karen Hughes, talking to Tom Brokaw after the second Presidential Debate Friday in Misssouri- Hughes had made sure that her backdrop was appropriately filled with several huge Bush/Cheney campaign signs for the interview.
Meanwhile, somehow, a Kerry/Edwards sign snuck into the lower left-hand corner of our screen, and stood out like a _______(insert cute analogy here) in a ______.
Slowly, as Ms. Hughes rambled on (unaware of the drama unfolding behind her) the signs became more and more prominent- the Bush signs started to twitch and bob as the people holding them became aware of the little terrorist Kerry sign.
Then, just as she was delivering her final wrap-up, the huge Bush/Cheney sign directly behind Hughes subtley moved to the left of our TV screen, pushing against the desperado trespasser sign everrr-so-slowly... until the Kerry sign and the little fingers holding it up eventally got nudged out of range of camera, and off of the screen!
It was like I was at baseball or football game- or a concert- and someone who wasn't supposed to be there appeared out on the field (or up on the stage) and started breakdancing behind the performers. I'm sure viewers stopped concentrating on the main talking heads for a moment and began rooting for, or against (depending on their persuasion) the interloping sign.
Before the week is over, I hope that someone will have taped that segment, played with it in Photoshop, and sent it into cyberspace for us all to share. It was a pretty funny bit. Anybody who gets it please send it to me.
Big Mattress Movie of the Week
Have any of you seen the film, "Dogville?" Gets my vote for
'sleeper of the year'. Innovative, off-the-beaten path, a bit dark (at
first) but then takes you for a nice spin around the block.
Not for everybody, but I'm betting that most of you blog regulars will fucking love it.
-c
P.S. Ebert hated it, so you know it's gotta be great.
P.P.S. I strongly suggest you do not read anything about this. Not even the comments below. Trust me... Go in cold.
It's a Good News Day!
(AP October 8) Hundreds of sales and marketing personnel on their way to a nationwide gathering of phone solicitors and e-mail spammers at a Philadelphia convention hall were killed last night in a fatal collision with a limousine driven by a twice-convicted child molester and three former Enron executi-
oops- Got carried away for a minute there...
Here's the real story.
YOUR TWO CENTS
Once a week, we select your best comments and ideas, and incorporate them into a new feature called YOUR TWO CENTS. It will be your writings un-edited (unless they make no sense as written) and posted here, for all the world of cyberspace to see. Not that this will make any of you a bigger star than I- but it certainly is a crumb which I humbly feel I, (as a once-mighty media-giant) should bring to the table in order to get any of the extra Karma crumbs emanated from this huge and courageous gesture.
Today's TWO CENTS is from a woman from the New England area (Go PATS! Go SOX!) and is nothing short of brilliant.
(Be patient as each page loads..)
She writes:
"Charles, if you haven't seen this, you may find it entertaining. If you HAVE seen it (if you've seen it 100 times and counting) please don't give me the big mattress smack down you gave those poor schnooks who kept sending you the link to the Florida ballot! I''m terribly, terribly sensitive. Nice to hear you on Eli P's last show, BTW.
Cheers.
SBP"
WIN A FREE STAY IN BEAUTIFUL HAWAI'I
Anyone who thinks the current administration is going to just roll over and play fair if it looks like they are going to lose in November, must have just fallen off a turnip truck. AINT GONNA HAPPEN!
Aside from John F. Kerry shooting himself in the foot, there are two very certain things which, if they do occur, would make it virtually impossible for Kerry to win on November 2nd:
1) Another major terrorist attack on U.S. soil
2. The dead-or-alive capture of America's most wanted terrorist- Osama bin Laden.
Call me paranoid and nutty if you will, but- when I was a lot younger and more idealistic- I watched as the three most powerful spokesleaders for the left were summarily executed in the short time period between 1963 and 1968. (one-in-a-million coincidence? I think not.) So, I have absolutely no problem being pooh poohed for conducting this wonderful and timely little contest.
THE CONTEST
Somewhere on this page (to the right for most computers- maybe on the bottom, or maybe not at all on your computer! ) is an orange column. In the orange column is a clock which is counting down the number of days, hours, minutes and seconds to the "surprise" capture of Osama.
To win a ten-day free stay for two in plush Maui, Hawaii, all you have to do, is to guess the exact date of the announced capture or death of Osama bin Laden, and then click here and enter your guess in the COMMENTS section.
Some of you really paranoid skeptics out there have decided that Osama has already been captured, or is dead- and his DNA chart is in a drawer in an office file in downtown Pakistan- just waiting to be pulled out for the big announcement.
I am less cynical, and feel like Osama is simply being tracked- and is ready to be plucked on a day most expedient to the calculations of Karl Rove and company.
Doesn't matter- the clock is ticking- and if Senor bin Laden is found anytime between now and October 31, 2004, the reader guessing the date and time (EST) closest to the actual announcement gets the free rental in paradise.
(click below for the RULES and more)
Billboard of the Month
October 7, 2004
The World's Biggest Optimist (or, R.E.O. kicks serious ass, man!)
craigslist.org is a "poor man's eBay", with buy/sell ads posted on line in various cities all over the U.S. of A.
This ad just appeared on the Craig's List site.
(spotted by S."Hadji" Feldman)
VP Update
If you missed the Vice Presidential debate because you were watching the Playoff games, you might not have seen how they looked on HI-DEF TV.
The Onion Strikes Again!
Rock Against Bush publicist Donna Wolff said campaign-related concerts are "an important way for musicians to express their political views."
"Contrary to what many people think, rock artists want to be involved," Wolff said. "While some of the musicians billed on our tour can't even name the U.S Secretary of Health and Human Services, or list more than two Bush policies they oppose, they all know the difference between right and wrong- and that's what counts!"
October 6, 2004
HAVE YOU SEEN CHRISSY LUNCEFORD?
Not a joke. Something to take a brief moment of your day. I checked this out- It is not a hoax, nor does it sound like a pissed-off runaway.
HAVE YOU SEEN CHRISSY LUNCEFORD?
Please go here for more info.
October 5, 2004
Everyone Please stop sending me this!!!
If you all would read the f___g e-mail posts you are getting, you would have already seen this great post almost a week ago..
Next one forwards this to me, I send their e-mail address and personal phone number to every slimy spammer and weasely phone solicitor in America.
October 4, 2004
Testosterone Tuesday
(Warning: NOT Work-Friendly!)
Don't know what to put in this box, so I'll just fill it with non-sequiturs: Chim- Chiminey, Chim- Chiminey, Chim Chim Charee- a sweep is as lucky as lucky can be.... Chim, chiminy
Comes back to bite you on the ass..
Estrogen Monday
A three year old boy in his bath examined his testicles and asked,
"Mommy, are these my brains?"
Mom said, "Not yet, honey."
Men At Work
October 3, 2004
Osama bin Laden "surprise" capture contest
Anyone who thinks the current administration is going to just roll over and play fair if it looks like they are going to lose in November, must have just fallen off a turnip truck. AINT GONNA HAPPEN!
Aside from John F. Kerry shooting himself in the foot, there are two very certain things which, if they do occur, would make it virtually impossible for Kerry to win on November 2nd:
1) Another major terrorist attack on U.S. soil
2. The dead-or-alive capture of America's most wanted terrorist- Osama bin Laden.
Call me paranoid and nutty if you will, but- when I was a lot younger and more idealistic- I watched as the three most powerful spokesleaders for the left were summarily executed in the short time period between 1963 and 1968. (one-in-a-million coincidence? I think not.) So, I have absolutely no problem being pooh poohed for conducting this wonderful and timely little contest.
THE CONTEST
Somewhere on this page (to the right for most computers- maybe on the bottom, or maybe not at all on your computer! ) is an orange column. In the orange column is a clock which is counting down the number of days, hours, minutes and seconds to the "surprise" capture of Osama.
To win a ten-day free stay for two in plush Maui, Hawaii, all you have to do, is to guess the exact date of the announced capture or death of Osama bin Laden.
Some of you really paranoid skeptics out there have decided that Osama has already been captured, or is dead- and his DNA chart is in a drawer in an office file in downtown Pakistan- just waiting to be pulled out for the big announcement.
I am less cynical, and feel like Osama is simply being tracked- and is ready to be plucked on a day most expedient to the calculations of Karl Rove and company.
Doesn't matter- the clock is ticking- and if Senor bin Laden is found anytime between now and October 31, 2004, the reader guessing the date and time (EST) closest to the actual announcement gets the free rental in paradise.
(click below for the RULES and more)
Contest Rules and More:
1. The winners get free rental only, and this prize does not include airfare, food, Maui guided tours, nurturing guest care, or polite and saccharine shmoozing.
2. The accommodations won will be very suitable and comfortable for any but the most spoiled and whiny millionaire types who may be out there. (ex: people who own private beach property and think that it should extend all the way to the water.)
3. If bin Laden is not found or captured, then no one wins, and I get to rent out the space to pay for my new storm windows.
4. If bin Laden is found or captured after November 2, someone in the White House screwed up big-time, and then no one wins- and I get to rent out the space to pay for my new storm windows.
5. Free rental dates for the winner will be determined by the Judges, according to availability and convenience of the owner, and must be claimed and used before November 1, of 2005.
6. Judges decision is final, and I am the Judges. If someone tricks me, or if there is some clause I left out which protects me legally, I reserve the right to nullify this contest and to change the rules at any time and in any way I see fit.
7. Limit: ONE entry per person
8. Your e-mail address can not be a link to a product you are selling, nor can there be any links in the comment.
HERE'S HOW TO ENTER:
You can use a fictitious name if you'd like, but please use your real e-mail address, or an e-mail address which I can verify is you. If you are writing down a phony e-mail address for security reasons, then you must follow that up immediately with a real e-mail to me, disclosing which anonymous e-mail address you used. It must be something unique so I can list it properly- NOT "spam@nospam.com."
In the comment section below,
Write down the date and time (EDT) of the announcement which will say that ObL is dead, or has been captured. This contest is not to guess when he was killed or captured, but when the announcement was offically released by C.N.N.
Okay, good luck! and maybe we'll see you in Maui next year.
JFKerry's new friend
After seeing the debate, Betty changes her mind about who she is going to vote for. She grabs a Sharpie, a big piece of thin cardboard and quickly makes a sign. Then she drives to the mall, parallel-parks the Camaro, and runs out to the curb to join her new friends. She smiles and holds her head high, as she proudly lets them know that she stands with them now- less than one month before the election!
November 2, 2004
Here's the Florida ballot.
You know they have the new electronic state-of-the-art voting machines.
Pretend that you live in Florida; you are black, old, and not very rich- and Get it right this time!
Practice VOTING NOW!
Or you can click here, and watch the fun all over America this November 2.
October 2, 2004
Who knew?!
They Super-Sized Me down.
The people that service my blog here in Hawai'i asked that I delete all my (probably illegal) earlier music posts, so I apologize if you went back and tried to play some of the songs. They are now "shadows of their former selves" But-
I think it's okay to give you this little tribute(?) to McDonald's founder Ray Kroc, by Mark Knopfler. You all remember Mark- the guy who wanted (and got) his MTV.
Click below for the free McDonalds Karaoke Sheet.
BOOM, LIKE THAT
I'm going to San Bernardino ring-a-ding-ding
milkshake mixers, that's my thing, now
these guys bought a heap of my stuff
and I gotta see a good thing sure enough, now
or my name's not Kroc, that's Kroc with a k
like crocodile but not spelt that way, now
it's dog eat dog, rat eat rat
Kroc style, boom like that
folks line up all down the street
now I am seeing this girl devour her meat, now
and then they get it wham as clear as day
my pulse begins to hammer and I hear a voice say:
these boys who've got this down
ought to be one of these in every town
these boys have got the touch
it's clean as a whistle and it don't cost much
wham bam don't wait long
shake fries plenty are gone
and how about that friendly name, heck
every little thing ought to stay the same
or my name's not Kroc, that's Kroc with a k
like crocodile but not spelt that way now
It's dog eat dog, rat eat rat
dog eat dog, rat eat rat
oh it's dog eat dog, rat eat rat
Kroc style, boom like that
you gentlemen are to expand
you're gonna need a helping hand now
so gentlemen well what about me?
we'll make a little business history now
or my name's not Kroc, you can call me Ray
like crocodile but not spelt that way now
It's dog eat dog, rat eat rat
Kroc style, boom like that
well we build it up and I'll buy 'em out
but man they made me grind it out now
they open up a new place flippin meat
so I do too, right across the street
I got the name, I need the town
they sell up in the end and it all shuts down
sometimes you gotta be an S.O.B.
you wanna make a dream reality
competition? send 'em south,
they're gonna drown through the hose in their mouth
do not pass go, go straight to hell
I smell that ??? smell
or my name's not Kroc, that's Kroc with a k
like crocodile but not spelt that way now
oh it's dog eat dog, rat eat rat
dog eat dog, rat eat rat
oh it's dog eat dog, rat eat rat
Kroc style, boom like that
If you use Generic Drugs, this is a must-read.
I reallly should be paid for this tip, but someone sent it to me, so I will just have to chalk it up to info-sharing at the highest priority level.
We're not talking about value dishwasher soap prices or discounted CDs or great prices for airline tickets here.
Trust me- print this page out for yourself and send this post to all your friends and loved ones.
The source is impeccable; as a matter of fact snopes.com is in the business, as many of you know, of sniffing out internet hoaxes, bullshit e-mail claims and phony photos.
To the "Undecideds" that don't exist
You have exactly 30 days to make the most important decision of your life- a decision that will affect you and your children- and future generations for decades to come.
October 1, 2004
the Worm turns
Hi Folks:
Many of you are sending me e-mails saying that you are no longer allowed to post comments. I feel your pain; I can't post either, and it's my f___g blog! Let me start off by saying that I have the most wonderful Blog Master in the world. His name is ...
Well, first I would like to tell you all a story:
"Once upon a time, Charles Laquidara used to be famous. He had a radio program in Boston, which he called the Big Mattress. (It sounds like a stupid name now, but at the time it seemed to be a really cool name for a morning radio show). Charles was too cheap to hire people to help run the show, so he had the habit of "hiring" volunteers and interns to work free-(for the "experience.") Many people came and went through those doors of WBCN and WZLX, the two stations where Charles worked.
Some time in the 70's, 80's (or was it the 90's? No, it had to be earlier- before the computers took over) Charles "hired" a (then 19 year-old) nerdy Jewish kid named Joshua- whose amazingly analytical mind and quick adroit hands were perfect for the chore of typing out almost human-sounding words (in real time, live on the air)- from the first human voice synthesizing machine in the world! It was donated from MIT and nicknamed, Karlos).
One morning, Charles yelled at Joshua because of some mistake that Josh made while typing and making Karlos "talk." (Charles was really yelling at Karlos, but Joshua didn't see it that way). Unfortunately, this was a defining moment for both of them: Joshua quit, and Charles eventually "hired" another hapless intern to exploit.
Move forward twenty or thirty years. Charles has a computer of his own. Charles is not very good at computers. In fact, of all the levels of computer knowledge that exist today- from amateur to intermediate to expert- Charles is in a separate "knowledge" category entitled, expert moron.
One day in the year 2000, Charles decides that he is bored with life and is considering ending it all- He is relating this to his long-time social friend, (long-time work enemy), Joshua. Joshua suggests that Charles should fill his spare time working with this new internet thing for people who have no life; a thing called a blog. Joshua (again)volunteers- this time to be the Mighty and All-Knowing, All-Powerful BLOG MASTER, who will set up this thing called blog, guide Charles through the process, and be Charles' loving, caring blog tech- support person.
Well, it seems that a few things have changed in the last three decades:
1. Joshua has become very empowered.
2. Joshua has a life.
3. Charles has become unempowered.
4. Charles has a life also, but it is much simpler, and slightly less-meaningful.
5. Joshua sometimes gets very busy with important things in his business and personal life, and- after he crunches the "prioritizing" numbers, (and happens to recall that horrible traumatic period from his college days) doesn't always have the time to give Charles instant tech support... Well, hey- I could go on for a bit longer here.... as I wait for Joshua to push that magic button which gives us our comment technology back.... but I won't. I will just relax zenfully- along with the rest of you- do some deep breathing, and hope that at some point this weekend (or next week) there will come a time when we can all get back to the business of doing the comment blah-blah-blah-thing again; because I really do miss reading all your thoughts and ideas on this blog. This blog WHICH HAS SUCH A GREAT HUMAN BEING AND WONDERFUL TECH-SUPPORT, BLOG-MASTER GOD!!"
(psssst- josh- are you listening?... josh?)
KCBS Radio clip
This is a recording of Brad Delp, (former lead singer with the super-group BOSTON) on the Johnny B Show last week. (Sent to us from former Big Mattress production director, Eddie Moloney).
Brad's goof-around band, called BeatleJuice, plays around the Boston area (Somerville, MA); this is his how he enjoys himself. Brad is a major Beatles fan, and cites the Beatles as his biggest musical influence. BeatleJuice only performs live- and although they have no CD's out, they were recorded (from a performance on Charles Laquidara's retirement show) in August of 2000, on WZLX in Boston. This brief snippet was gleaned from the BeatleJuice appearance KCBS last week, and refers to that Charles ZLX retirement show in the introduction.
The Great Debate
(You think as you read) "Shit!... Wish I wrote this..."