the Big Mattress - Freeform Interactive Radio on the Net

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
1. Law Enforcement:
He voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in his career as a US Senator.
"And, boy- they really show us how well they put that extra money to work! "
He ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of his mansion, thereby endangering his neighbors in the event of fire.
"My bad. I guess you shouldn't vote for me after all"
2. Military:
He used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Nam. He then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam
vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. He
threw his medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. His book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier" shows how he truly feels about the military.
" And of course, I can safely assume that you've all read it; so you really know what you're talking about here, and can be your old, objective selves."
3. College:
He graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike his counterpart George Bush, he has no higher education and he did not get admitted to Harvard, nor graduate with an M.B.A
"Er... Run that one by me again please...?" (stonefaced as usual, but trying not to giggle here)

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
He ran for US Congress, and has been there ever since. He has no real world experience, except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through his wife, Teresa.
" Oh yeah? Well just let's see who can run a ketchup company better- me or that cowgirl on the right. Bring it On!"

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS U.S. SENATOR:
He set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton.
"I'm thinkin' that might not be such a bad thing anymore.... Let's see if anyone agrees in November."
He has consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus
gutting our country's ability to defend itself.
" See my response to #1 above"
Although he voted for the Iraq War, now he is against it, and refuses to admit that he voted for it.
"Ummm.. Didn't we all agree that I got snookered, because I believed at the time that our president was telling the truth? This just proves, I think, that under conditions of real danger, I would not hesitate to take us to war, if necessary."

He voted for every liberal piece of legislation.
"We've been doing it the "other " way for a long, long time...Maybe it's time to stop placing the word "liberal" in the ba-a-a-d column. Or is that too much of a stretch?"

He has no plan to help this country, but intends to raise taxes significantly if he is elected.
"I can't respond to non-sequitors, except to say that I see no proof of either conjecture."

His wealth so far exceeds that of his counterpart, George Bush, that G W will never catch up. He makes no or little charitable contributions and Kerry has never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million. In the past few days the media is claiming Kerry's wealth somewhere between one and three billion, that is with a B.
"To quote a colleague, 'There you go again' And, once more- My bad. Based on these criteria, vote for my buddy Harry Winkler from Watertown- he's got shit- but he's a super guy!."

Although he claims to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and he oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard, as it might spoil their view of the ocean as they cruise on their yachts.
"That's called, 'Thinking globally, Acting locally'! Actually, Ted and I didn't like the windmill colors. Windmills should have more character.. Sepia and battleship gray just don't get it."

NIMBY. RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None.
"What's a NIMBY?"

PERSONAL:
He rides a Serotta Bike. His Gulfstream V Jet he calls "The FlyingSquirrel" He calls his $850,000 42 foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the"Scarmouche." He is fascinated by rap and hip-hop- and 'you had better listen to it, as it reflects our real culture'. He owns several
SUVs, including one parked at his Nantucket summer mansion, though he is against large polluting inefficient vehicles.. and he blames George Bush for the energy problems.
"These hypocritical accusations coming from the elite Right would be incredibly funny, but, unfortunately, another four years of the Bush administration would be far, far, far from funny."

PLEASE CONSIDER HIS EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.